One Year Ago

Dear Bella,

It’s so hard to believe that one year ago today was the day we said goodbye to you. Our hopes and dreams of starting a family and welcoming our first daughter into the world came crashing down on September 11, 2009 which seemed almost fitting given the historical sadness and significance of the day.

You were so loved and that day was the worst day in your mom and dad’s life. But, over the past year we’ve learned there was a bigger plan for us and for our family. The universe works in strange ways sometimes.

Bella, my guardian angel, you brought about this blog. You were the reason I started writing. Why I picked up my camera again. Why I decided to share my pictures, my raw emotion, and my hopes for the future. You were the reason I took a leap of faith and began building this business. I never imagined in my wildest dreams how successful it would grow in one short year.  The joy I get out of capturing the happiness of so many wonderful families helps me heal. Keeps me whole. It’s my passion and you led me to it.

You’ve been watching over your mom and dad in other ways too. You brought us a fresh start, in a new home, with a new job opportunity just around the corner for your dad. You brought us a new baby, at the right time in January, because you knew just how sad we’d be approaching your due date.  And now on the anniversary of you leaving us we’re about to welcome this baby, your sister, into the world. There is a lot we have to be happy about one year later.

Like I said, the universe works in strange ways, but I think you’ve been helping make sure the universe is shining bright for us  this year.


Thank you for bringing us such a beautiful day today. The blue blue sky, the puffy white clouds, and perfect weather left us feeling hope, happiness, and lots of love. We miss you and love you so much, but instead of mourning you today we celebrated.  We celebrated all that you brought us this year.

Love,

Mom and Dad

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show hide 7 comments

MarciaSeptember 11, 2010 - 10:29 pm

I just want to cry. This is so sweet Beryl. I seems as this past year has been a year of blessings and I am so happy that I have been a witness to parts of your journey. Love ya, Mar

SharonSeptember 12, 2010 - 5:23 am

You will feel her with you forever, and that is a blessing too.

Beautiful post, Beryl. I can’t wait to see what the next year brings!

Stacy LarsenSeptember 12, 2010 - 8:01 am

Sometimes in life only after true sorrow and heartbreak can we experience pure joy. It seems so unfair that you had to lose your sweet baby girl, but I am so grateful that you have such an amazing outlook. I can’t wait to see pictures of the new baby and am thinking of you on during the last leg of your pregnancy.

DanielleSeptember 12, 2010 - 9:10 am

What a beautiful tribute to your little girl! You are such an amazing person and I’m blessed to know you:-) Wishing you only the best!!

AndreaSeptember 12, 2010 - 10:18 am

I saw your post on the Faces of Loss Facebook page. What a beautiful letter. I lost my son at 19 weeks 4 months ago today and like you I have already learned so many things and have taken more risks since he came into my life. Congrats on a new little one. I wish you the best. Thank you for sharing this post.

KellySeptember 12, 2010 - 11:35 am

Oh B – Here I was pinging you with my stupid things all day and wondering why you were on the computer on such a beautiful day… This was a beautiful letter to Bella, and you’re right, you have had such a tremendous journey in this past year. I’m so excited to share in all of your new blessings with you. XOXO, K

BerylSeptember 12, 2010 - 2:06 pm

Thanks so much for stopping by to comment Andrea. I just ventured over to your blog and you are so eloquent in sharing your feelings on being a babyloss mom.

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