Wisdom Wednesday | What’s Your Perspective

I am a glass half full kinda gal. I love people. Hate conflict. And I strive to nurture and preserve positive relationships and positive attitudes in all aspects of my life.

Blogger Susannah Conway had an incredible blog post this week that had me digging deep into my soul, contemplating my positive nature, my PERSPECTIVE in the blog world, and the effects this has on me as a photographer and teacher. (and can I just add that I am now even more super stoked to be exploring these concepts further in her Unraveling e-course next month)

She states :

“It’s very tempting to turn our blogs into an on-going affirmation of what we want our lives to be like, hoping that if we share only the good stuff we can make it real.”

She goes on to share that she like bloggers to BE REAL, put a little more honesty and grit in their writing, and tone down the attitude of being so positive and grateful for what they have. She encourages the expression of raw feeling and true emotions instead of sharing only when we feel all is right in our world.

But what if we truly feel our overall PERSPECTIVE is “Smile when it hurts most.”? Now I know this is a pretty extreme statement. I am not so optimistic as to not realize that everyone is entitled to a bad day, we each have our own baggage we carry with us, and we can’t put a smile on our face 24 hours a day 365 days a year.  (When I slipped and fell in the middle of a Target store while shopping on Mother’s Day ended up in the ER instead of enjoying family brunch I was certainly not talking up how grateful I was to have a freshly bruised black and blue sprained ankle to contend with for the next 6 weeks).

So this begs the question, can we both SMILE through pain and BE REAL about our emotions?

I think the answer is YES. Losing Bella for me meant the crumbling of big plans, hopes, and dreams for the life I thought I was to live. When I was BEING REAL this single event made me stumble, stutter, and question everything I ever felt was positive and right with my world. It took losing her to strip me of my rose colored glasses and realize that life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. In the weeks and months following the loss there were tears. Many many tears. There was anger. Hopelessness. Loneliness. Guilt. An endless stream of negative emotion.

But instead of allowing myself to hide from the world, I decided to hide behind my camera.  That little black box helped me SMILE through the pain. I posted all the REAL stuff here. The open wounds. The raw emotion. The images I created.  I took the experience as an opportunity grow as an individual, expose myself, and and use a terrible experience as an OPPORTUNITY to build a new life and a new plan.  Affirming these wishes for a new life of happiness has allowed the opening of many new doors, the nurturing of new relationships, and has allowed for a ton of gratitude to seep in to this new life. There are days where I still struggle with the loss. The life we left behind. The person I’ve become. I am working 70 hour weeks or more to achieve these new dreams. Sometimes I still want to cry. I want to throw in the towl. Release these new dreams and let them go. I want to SMILE less and be more REAL.

Even so, I still press on.  I fully believe that the sun can shine on us daily even when there is rain. I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe in the power of positive affirmations and hoping for a better tomorrow. And I believe that even when we are REAL we can still find something that makes us SMILE and discover the path to our own personal happiness. That PERSPECTIVE is what I have always intended to share here. My stories of survival, growth, inspiration, and gratitude.

Is your glass half full? Or half empty? Can positive affirmations turn into positive outcomes? Share your PERSPECTIVES here today, I want to hear them.

If you’re a mom suffering from pregnancy or infant loss who is looking to get REAL but also looking to SMILE again I encourage you to get on the Illuminate VIP list HERE. The details on how to be a part of our first Illuminate Experience is only a week away. It’s going to change your PERSPECTIVE and get you living again.

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show hide 3 comments

jenniferMay 25, 2011 - 6:42 pm

I enjoy reading blogs that show REAL feelings and emotions. I know many people have a personal blog and professional. I actually enjoy knowing about what makes a person who they are. I agree that we can SMILE through the pain and be REAL. You do both quite well. Love the picture by the way on this post.

KerriMay 26, 2011 - 7:29 am

I just LOVE your posts – all of them. So inspiring and refreshing. Thanks for sharing. :)

LisaMay 27, 2011 - 7:57 am

I don’t know if my glass is half full or half empty anymore. I think I used to be mostly an optimist. But I think even optimists have pessimistic moments. And now I seem to have them more frequently – at least when it comes to having future children. Just last night I was telling my husband that I just don’t yet believe that we’ll have a baby that lives. So in that respect, I guess I’m not very positive. But I’d like to be. I’m working on it.

Setting aside pessimism and optimism for a moment, though, I do have a little mantra that I think is my general perspective on life. It is “the journey is the reward.” I saw those words on a necklace one day, and it felt like that necklace had been crafted just for me. I had been so focused on the outcome and the goals that I had forgotten about the process – the journey of life. Sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we want, but experiencing the ups and downs – really living – is wonderful. After my son died, I couldn’t wear that necklace for a few months. I didn’t know if I believed it anymore. But as time passed, I realized that even though I miss him desperately every day, he is part of my story. He makes me who I am. Experiencing him was an incredible reward. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

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