• Remembering Her

    Today I am thinking of Bella.

    I should be 26 weeks pregnant today.

    Instead it is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and it’s been 34 days since we said goodbye.  The day we lost Bella I came across this memorial day and committed it to memory. Today I didn’t even realize it was the 15th until a friend tweeted a personal remembrance for her own loss.

    The realization of the day brought everything to a screeching halt. I had a wave of guilt for not remembering this on my own. And the irrational thought that Bella would be mad at me. For not remembering. Not caring.

    Fortunately the day is not over.

    I still have time to honor our sweet baby girl.

    Remember her.

    What she brought to our family.

    Joy. Hope. Love. Emotion. Inspiration.

    We miss her and the excitement she brought us as we prepared for a new phase of life for our family. We miss that we’ll never get to know who she is. her smile. her laugh. her personality.

    But us losing her has also taught us so much in such a short time.

    To not take things for granted.

    Enjoy every moment.

    Stay strong.

    Stay positive.

    I may not think of her every single moment of every single day.

    But I do I remember her every day.

    I hope you’ll take some time to remember her with us today too.

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    show hide 6 comments

    BethOctober 15, 2009 - 3:01 pm

    A beautiful post and wonderful way to remember her. Don't be upset that the day slipped your mind at first. Bella would want you to be happy, not be upset forever. Rememberance is a good thing, guilt and shame aren't. Bella is in my thoughts today.

    ErinOctober 15, 2009 - 3:56 pm

    My little family is remember Bella and your family today, and everyday.

    Michelle T (from Barrett 2W)October 15, 2009 - 4:06 pm

    Beryl, I saw this on facebook, and wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

    MomOctober 15, 2009 - 5:54 pm

    Beryl you have a beautiful way of capturing moments with your camera lens, but you also have a wonderful gift for conveying emotions through your words. Thank you for sharing this remembrance with us in such an insightful way and for reminding us about the lessons that life teaches us. Hugs and love always.

    Eric ChenOctober 15, 2009 - 6:12 pm

    We're thinking of you and sending Bella our love. Thanks for allowing us to share in your experience.

    triciabOctober 16, 2009 - 7:25 am

    This post was beautifully written. My heart and prayers for continued blessings to out to your family.XO*Tricia

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